Tuesday, April 27, 2010
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
The word “forgiveness” means different things to different people and is often hard to do. Instead of “forgiveness,” I like the word “insight" (human behavior).
There are many barriers to forgiveness, a few of which are fear, anger, resentment, and depression; many of the same conditions that dissipate when we do forgive.
Is forgiveness a choice?
Can we overcome barriers to forgiveness by pausing before we react to someone or something?
Sometimes quick reactions are in our best interest such as in pulling a child from the path of an oncoming car. Stress in the right dose serves us well. But an overdose is often counter productive as in panicking during a fire in a theatre. Granted, with some circumstances in life forgiveness like grief is a process that should not be accelerated.
Forgiveness is a powerful gift that releases us from the bondage of past failures, hurts and disappointments. It is a principle of success that few discuss in regard to the impact it has on both our personal and professional lives.
I cannot change yesterday, but I can make the choice whether to learn, grow and move on from past mistakes and misfortunes, or allow them to control my emotional well being today and what my attitude will be in the future.
The need for forgiveness in our lives is directly proportional to the degree of which we have failed, been hurt, or victimized. The more I have experienced these destructive encounters the greater degree of forgiveness is needed to mend the damage done.
ASK YOURSELF, CAN I NOT ONLY FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO HAS WRONGED ME
BUT CAN I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THE WRONG I DO TO MYSELF AND OTHERS.
Friday, April 23, 2010
When can a man stop and say enough is enough, when he finally gets out of his own way and feelings to see the truth no matter how painful it truly is.
How can a man release his harbored anger, aggression and defeat in the presence of love ?
When can we put to bed our toxic pasts, that did nothing but lead us down dead end streets and at times almost take our lives ?
ARE WE OUR OWN ENEMY ?
We endure hardships, pain and suffer unneeded for our loves.
we stay stuck in places we don't like, all in the name of loyalty.
we don't move forward for fear of being something other then what we are at this moment.
I for one Have opened my eyes, I am saying enough is enough it's my time.
With my hard work in hand i will now eat from the fruits, that my sweat and time have made grow instead of enjoying the view from afar.
I will no longer stand in the way of myself covered in armor of doubt uncertainty and fear i will step out and face my success head on as a warrior.
I will love with open arms and not a guarded heart.
I will no longer willingly poison my body with foods , drinks , smokes that i know are slowly killing me and robbing me of the time i have set aside for my future.
I will no longer sit idly as my body proportions grow due to my inactivity.
I will no longer let opportunities fall thru my hands like sand in a blowing wind, lost to never be found.
I must make my self the best man that i can be in every way, no matter the cost because if your not a good man in heart, body , mind and soul you cant be the best friend, father, brother, husband, teacher or leader.
all these things are necessary tools to fend off the negative forces in the world that looks to cut you at the knees and watch you and everything you hold dear crumble.
I will protect my family like a shield, warm them as the sun , give forth knowledge as a teacher, love them like a father and be their for them as thier very own breath.
I will welcome my son in to this world as a king cause that's what he deserves, may he step on my stones of dedication to something more then i could ever even dream for myself.
Today i stop being my own enemy for you my Son.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Comunication is 60% body language 30% Tone and 10% words.
Body language is the biggest form non-verbal communication, which is made up of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. We send and interpret all of those without being aware of them. Body language may provide clues about the feelings and attitude of the person we are talking to, it may show aggression towards us, boredom in the conversation, or genuine interest. It can also lose you some money in poker if your not careful. So if body lanuge is so imporant why do we even talk at times ?
Now on to Tone, "Watch your tone with me!” Have you ever been told that as a child or teenager? Our tone has various feelings: anger, frustration, joy, happiness, we may sound distracted or preoccupied, be sarcastic, and all of those will influence how others hear what we are saying and how they will interpret our underlying message. So with out a thought we can change someones reseptive nature just by how we speak .....
I dont entierly belive that 60 / 30 / 10 throry, granted it does have truth to it in a big way but spoken words affect us on a deeper level than any of us can imagine and can affect us for many years, if not for a lifetime.
Think back to our childhood, what words did you hear about yourself or were said to you: beautiful, handsome, smart, clever, champ, winner or ugly, bad, stupid, dummy, good for nothing, loser, these words still linger in the mind many years even lifetimes after they were uttered.
How did they affect your current life?
Did you believe that you can do anything, and you couldn't lose taking risks to achieve more in life, or did you stay back, not wanting to contiune being a loser believing that you will not succeed anyway, so why even try? If you answered ‘‘yes’’ to any of these examples, you understand that oftentimes the people who used those negative words towards us were themselves so insecure in themselves that they used that form of communication to keep us feeling down, for their fears that we may rise higher than them. It is time to reconsider why those beliefs still have strongholds on your life; maybe you believed them then, but you do not have to believe them anymore, so let go of them.
I was called stupid, dumb ass, and what ever other names daily as a child and I in no way feel remotly close to any of these terribe words but it took time for me to really look at myself and find my wealth, my value and to define my self with my own words. See words create pictures in our mind, and those pictures create outward actions.So instead of concentrating on my problems, I like to focus on solutions in my life. Words are powerful tools that can help change our mind and our lives.
They create visions, which can be positive, Use your words to build up yourself and others, for never before and never again will there be another one of you.
Some of the most powerful words I ever spoke were those following “I” or “I am”, If you hear someone say to you “You are stupid” you have the power to either accept it or reject it, now if you hear yourself saying “I am so stupid” you will not have the power to reject it, since it came out of your own mouth. Each word out of your own mouth should be positive, good, and encouraging, to enrich your life, and those of others around you. I see this more and more everyday now with my son on the way, my eyes are open to the fact that words are so much more then sharp ideas, funny jokes or passonatie secrets they are the stones that can elevate a man to greatness or wheight upon his back to his demise..
WORDS CAN BUILD OR DESTROY IT'S OUR CHOICE HOW TO USE THEM..
Thursday, April 1, 2010
OK, as most of you know I am a father to be to a baby boy, and because of this many questions are popping up but this one question has come up a bit more frequently.
( Will you have your son circumcised ? )
First and foremost, what is the foreskin?
No, it is not a useless piece of unnecessary flesh, there to be hacked off like some offending tag on a new garment.
It is a highly erogenous, erotically sensitive, male reproductive organ.
Yes, organ. Like the clitoris and labial regions of a female the foreskin exists to aid in pleasurable reproduction.
It houses 80-90% of the erotic nerve endings in the penis.
It contains on the inner side, sebaceous glans that produce lubrication during sex and the sheath like nature of the foreskin allows for frictionless, pleasurable sex during full penetration.
As a result of the removal of these vital sebaceous glans, most circumcised males require non natural lubrication during sex and masturbation, and are unable to take part in normal natural human intercourse.
Along side these sebaceous glans are a network of estrogenic sensing structures that aid in arousal and sexual reproduction.
Very little is known about these structures as so many men have had them removed, although scientists are fairly certain that the foreskin is the only place in the body that these particular type of estrogenic sensors exist. There is a great deal of speculation in the medical community that the removal of the foreskin and these sensors could account for some cases of male erectile dysfunction.
Next to the sebaceous glands and the estrogenic sensors are a network of lymph nodes. Like any component of the lymphatic system ,when these lymph nodes are removed during circumcision it permanently disrupts the body’s natural lymphatic system. Doctors attribute heightened susceptibility to infection to the removal of these nodes. As well as affecting the immune system the removal of any part of the lymphatic system can affect the body’s natural circulation system as well.
Delicate structures line the inside of the foreskin and attach it to the penis. With time, sometimes as late as 18 years in age, these structures release and full extension of the penis is possible. Removal of the foreskin tears these fine structures and exposes skin meant to be kept moist, to the air, causing the head of the penis to dry out and loose much of it’s sensitivity sometimes up to 80%
What happens during a circumcision?
First your son is restrained using a device called a circumboard. It looks like a board with four limb restraints in the shape of a baby.
It cradles and restrains your child so that they cannot move.
While your child screams, and they will scream, the doctor will wrap your child in a sheet with a hole, through which he will pull you sons tiny genitals.
He will coat them in an iodine solution to prevent infection. He will them take two clamps and insert them into the sides of your sons foreskin then, taking a third clamp he will “probe” or in actuality, rip, the membrane connecting the foreskin to the penis. When this is complete he will clamp lengthwise down the shaft to the foreskin and using scissors he will make a long gash in the side of the foreskin.
At this time 20% of doctors will administer a topical anaesthetic, the World Health Organization and others believe this is not adequate pain relief for such a painful invasive surgery and insist if the procedure is preformed that an injection of a local anaesthetic is necessary . Then taking a special instrument he will cover the head of the penis and using a cutting/clamping device that looks much akin to a cigar cutter he will pinch off sometimes up to two to three inches of skin, then using a scalpel or sometimes brute force he will sever the remaining foreskin which will then fall away. Many parents who have observed their son’s circumcision have commented that thought their children screamed for the first few minutes they often times quieted down during the cutting and clamping procedure, with some parents reporting the eyes of their sons rolling back in their heads. This is not because they are no longer in pain. It is because you just cut off half their penis and they are going into shock.
Can a circumcision go wrong? It is reported that every year aprox. 250 boys will die from complications due to circumcision, in North America alone. That doesn’t count the number of botched circumcisions that take place every year that boy’s live through. Everything from penile extension problems in adulthood from the shortening of the penis’s outer skin, severe and painful curvature of the penis to more serious injuries such as the severing of the urinary tract and the infection of staphylococcus bacteria in the surgical site which can cause life long damage to the genital region.
So with all that said the biggest argument I have to circumcise my son is
" Woman might not like it or make fun of him "
I think it's highly judgemental and ignorant of some people (aka women to say uncircumcised is unnatural) for these women to think they have to right to judge natures work. Wake up it's natural and not exactly the guy's fault that he's was born this way, they should be ashamed of themselves.
That's the same as a man laughing at you because you don't have big perfect breast implants, that can be easily fix with cosmetic surgery or for men to sit and ridicule the size or shape of you vaginal lips aka labia, that is meant to be there to protect your vagina.
To be truly honest, I find comfort in the fact that whatever decision me and his mother choose will be correct and if for that reason it happens to turn away or disgusts a woman, maybe that's not the type of woman I would want for my son.