Tuesday, March 30, 2010
His Fathers Son.......
A father is defined as a male parent of any type of offspring.
Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!
~Lydia M. Child
So as time passes and I come ever that much closer to becoming a father, I am starting to think more about my own father and our father son relationship.
you ever noticed how boys want to be just like their dad's when they are young, nothing like their father's when they are teens, and then become just like their father's for better and worse when they become adults?
This could not be more evident than in the relationship between my father and I. From my evolution of childhood through adult, the predictable life stages that occurred in my life that kept us apart and the challenges that keep us close vary as my view of him over the years, I have viewed and related to my father in many different ways in different stages in my life.
See as children, sons idolize their dads and think they can do anything. This is most often demonstrated by a son’s imitation of his father’s behavior by walking like him, talking like him or wearing his clothes or shoes. At this age, a son wants so much to please his father and receive his approval and acceptance. As for me I idolized my father from afar, my parents divorced when I was very young ( too young for me to remember ) So I would create pictures and depictions of my father from bits of stories that fell from dinner table conversations that I was too young to hear mixed with vivid glimpses of old photos and tales of his manhood,courage and psychical strength. My father was a god to me as a child and I would anxiously await his arrival when he would bless me with his seldom found presents. weather if it was because of his personal life, his jail sentence or his drug addiction my fathers touch or voice was rarely seen, heard or felt in my early childhood.
As a teen, I experienced a period of discord in which conflict was the central theme of my life. I often rejected the expectations, values and directions that my father had embraced and I took on more non-traditional philosophies, placing me regularly at odds with him. He had seen the error in his ways, in not only his life but in my life and was attempting to be the father that I needed and deserved but at this time in my life I didn't want a father.
Resentment or even the fear of depending on the man who was my absent "fallen god like" father was great, but he buried his head and continued to try and better
himself as a man and a father. He educated him self, he separated himself from his former life,he found respect for himself as a man. and even as a rebellious, resentful and emotionally scared teen that I was at the time, I couldn't help but take note of his growth. My father was becoming the dad I wanted, right before my eyes (yes it took years but he never quit ) He continued to build that father son relationship that we were so very much lacking.
As a young adult, My father took me in to his home, when mom couldn't handle me anymore and in this short year that I lived with my father from the age of 16 to 17
( the most time we spent together in my life ) He taught me many things about being and becoming a man strength, honesty , Faith, humility and The most important thing that my dad showed me was that only a real man can be a father.
See all men fall and make mistakes but only a man can rise, My father fell but he rose from the ashes of his mistakes and atoned for every sin and lie he told for every second lost of my childhood, he took responsibility for his actions and withstood the pain of facing his past shortcomings as a man face to face till only then, to move forward as a father.
and now I am to be a father to a son.
To successfully pass through these stages of idolizing, discord, evolving, acceptance and becoming a legacy, is an “ideal” goal for every Son to a father.
Let me become your legacy Dad, for my son and I will pick up what you have begun
and hold it high for the world to see, This legacy was not made of riches and soft times but forged from the bottoms of uncertainty, mistrust and scrutiny of naysayers to rise to the highest points of trust,respect, love and prosperity.
Rev. Dr. Bruce C Rivera PH.D. aka my DAD