WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A MAN ?

What does it mean to be a man today?

Can men express their masculinity without becoming cold or closed-hearted or wimpy and emasculated ?

What’s a conscious man ?

A man understands and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation.He locks on to his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need guarantees. A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He is willing to follow his heart and stand firm on his own feet.

A man knows he must commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. When others observe that a man is committed to his values and morals, he gains their trust and respect, even when he cannot gain their support. The way for a man to lose the respect of others as well as his own self-respect  is to violate his own values.Whenever a man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and himself as well. He then becomes an object of pity.

 A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets. When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he defeats himself. An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with worry. He accepts that if a failure occurs, he can deal with it. A man grows more from failure than he does from his success. Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can.When a man plays it safe, his has loss the opportunities to be greater for not only himself but the people and community that believe in him.

A MAN CAN CHANGE A WORLD OF YOUNG MEN BY NOT HIS WORDS BUT BY HIS ACTIONS.

A man is a giver of love, not a just a receiver. A man is the first to say “I love you.” The universe does not respond to hesitation. It is a man's  job to share his love with the world.. A man accepts the consequences of being male, he makes no apologies for his nature. The male path is filled with obstacles. These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through repeated obstacles a man learns to search for worthy goals and to eliminate goals that are unworthy.

A man actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him, and he removes those who hold him back. A man doesn’t blame others for his problems. .A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his decision to tolerate such behavior.A man teaches others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his life.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

.....WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A MAN .....

FATHER, BROTHER, UNCLE, HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, SON

MAN

His Fathers Son.......

A father is defined as a male parent of any type of offspring.

Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!
~Lydia M. Child



So as time passes and I come ever that much closer to becoming a father, I am starting to think more about my own father and our father son relationship.

you ever noticed how boys want to be just like their dad's when they are young, nothing like their father's when they are teens, and then become just like their father's for better and worse when they become adults?

This could not be more evident than in the relationship between my father and I. From my evolution of childhood through adult, the predictable life stages that occurred in my life that kept us apart and the challenges that keep us close vary as my view of him over the years, I have viewed and related to my father in many different ways in different stages in my life.

See as children, sons idolize their dads and think they can do anything. This is most often demonstrated by a son’s imitation of his father’s behavior by walking like him, talking like him or wearing his clothes or shoes. At this age, a son wants so much to please his father and receive his approval and acceptance. As for me I idolized my father from afar, my parents divorced when I was very young ( too young for me to remember ) So I would create pictures and depictions of my father from bits of stories that fell from dinner table conversations that I was too young to hear mixed with vivid glimpses of old photos and tales of his manhood,courage and psychical strength. My father was a god to me as a child and I would anxiously await his arrival when he would bless me with his seldom found presents. weather if it was because of his personal life, his jail sentence or his drug addiction my fathers touch or voice was rarely seen, heard or felt in my early childhood.


As a teen, I experienced a period of discord in which conflict was the central theme of my life. I often rejected the expectations, values and directions that my father had embraced and I took on more non-traditional philosophies, placing me regularly at odds with him. He had seen the error in his ways, in not only his life but in my life and was attempting to be the father that I needed and deserved but at this time in my life I didn't want a father.
Resentment or even the fear of depending on the man who was my absent "fallen god like" father was great, but he buried his head and continued to try and better
himself as a man and a father. He educated him self, he separated himself from his former life,he found respect for himself as a man. and even as a rebellious, resentful and emotionally scared teen that I was at the time, I couldn't help but take note of his growth. My father was becoming the dad I wanted, right before my eyes (yes it took years but he never quit ) He continued to build that father son relationship that we were so very much lacking.

As a young adult, My father took me in to his home, when mom couldn't handle me anymore and in this short year that I lived with my father from the age of 16 to 17
( the most time we spent together in my life ) He taught me many things about being and becoming a man strength, honesty , Faith, humility and The most important thing that my dad showed me was that only a real man can be a father.

See all men fall and make mistakes but only a man can rise, My father fell but he rose from the ashes of his mistakes and atoned for every sin and lie he told for every second lost of my childhood, he took responsibility for his actions and withstood the pain of facing his past shortcomings as a man face to face till only then, to move forward as a father.

and now I am to be a father to a son.

To successfully pass through these stages of idolizing, discord, evolving, acceptance and becoming a legacy, is an “ideal” goal for every Son to a father.

Let me become your legacy Dad, for my son and I will pick up what you have begun
and hold it high for the world to see, This legacy was not made of riches and soft times but forged from the bottoms of uncertainty, mistrust and scrutiny of naysayers to rise to the highest points of trust,respect, love and prosperity.

Thank You
Rev. Dr. Bruce C Rivera PH.D. aka my DAD